If you are like many people, you probably think a lot about how others perceive you. This is a normal reaction, as most people want to be liked by others. The problem is when you start people pleasing so much that it affects your own mental health, leading to stress and anxiousness. These tips can help you to stop people pleasing and improve your mental focus.
Accept That Not Everyone Will Like You
This is probably the best way to stop people pleasing and benefit from it by reducing your overall stress and anxiety levels. If you are a people pleaser, this probably comes from wanting to make other people happy. This is often also related to wanting everyone to like you. It is time to accept the fact that this may never happen, and even if they do, is doing everything for everyone else really the way? Start acknowledging that everyone is different, and it’s okay if someone doesnít like you. You should not be giving up all your time and sanity just to force something that isn’t there.
Know You Have Choices
You should also start accepting the fact that you do have a choice in what you do or don’t do. If someone asks you to host a party that you really don’t have time for, don’t offer to do it just because it will please other people. You always have a choice, and if
something is too much money, too time-consuming, or just requires more energy than you have right now, politely decline the offer. There are nice, polite ways to say no, and this is a skill you may need to learn.
If you find that you just donít know how to balance everything, then your problem might not be that you just want everyone to like you, but that your people pleasing has turned into a tricky balancing act. Itís okay to want to help others, but you can’t do everything all of the time. If this sounds familiar, then what you want to do is set priorities. Think about what others are asking of you or what you want to volunteer to do, and only choose the things that are top priority. Joining your son or daughter’s school PTA might be a higher priority than attending a weekend function.
Don’t Ignore the Bad Feelings
This is a good way to tell if your people pleasing is causing you stress. Do you find that when you spend time with certain people, you just get a bad feeling? Or that when they call you, you know they’re going to ask for something, and you have that nervous feeling in the pit of your stomach? These are negative feelings regarding someone who might ask too much of you. This can be causing you stress, and is a major red flag that you need to cut back on your communications with this individual.
6 Steps to Stop People Pleasing and Start Doing What's Right For You
According to Dr. Susan Newman, people pleasers want everyone around them to be happy. And they will do whatever it takes to keep them that way. They put ...
Learn more about how to stop being a people pleaser here:
One common behavioral pattern I have seen over and over again among people who are unable to lose weight or otherwise manage their health is the People Pleaser.. A People Pleaser is one of the nicest and most helpful people you know.
On the surface of it, wanting to please people is a very admirable and pleasant trait, and one that would surely win you friends and respect and increase your popularity and your confidence as a result. However, as with anything, it is important to aim to please only in moderation, and if you find ...
As a recovering people pleaser, I just wanted to say that this is an excellent blog post. It reminds me of Stephen Fry saying: “John Cleese once told me I would never be happy unless I stopped “being so f***ing polite all the time.
It’s a vicious, never-ending way of life, because people are always going to ask things of us. Here's how to quit being a people-pleaser without being a jerk.